People make me laugh, as they proudly declare:

“I’m on a strict banting (paleo) diet.” – and he eats chips and sandwiches;

“My body is my temple, and the only things I eat are calibrated calories, fat, and protein meals that I make. No sugars” – and he scoffs two shop-bought muffins;

“I’m vegetarian, because I can’t stand seeing animals killed.” – and she eats fish and chicken.